How To Spot A Frenemy
Friends are for life and we support each other through thick and thin. They share our sorrow and add value to our life. “True friends are like diamonds precious and rare, fake friends are like dead leaves scatter everywhere.” Genuine friends are not easy to come by and they make our life more meaningful.
Do you have a friend who always belittles you in front of your friends, trying all ways to prove that they are superior to the others? These people seem to thrive on drama or gossip and like to create scenes to attract attention. Their behaviours are likely to lead to arguments, misunderstandings and jealousy.
A fake friend can be more dangerous than an enemy. An enemy is at least open and upfront about their stance, but your fake friends who know all your weaknesses can hit you where it hurts! Yeah! You never get betrayed by an enemy, only someone pretending to be your friend can stab you in the back. Especially if someone starts pretending to be your friend with an agenda. “Who needs an enemy when you have a friend like this.”
Warning Signs That Someone Is A Frenemy
Everyone wants to be liked and accepted, that is why it is always vital to be on guard about Frenemies; enemies masquerading as friends. When someone is pretending to be your friend with ulterior motives, they are bound to send off some alarming signals. Some of these signals would be loud and clear, while some would be blink-and-miss.
The reason is that these toxic and manipulative tactics often take time to manifest. Therefore, a frenemy may have worked hard to earn your trust and get close to you, which can make it even harder to spot them. Your feelings of affection can cause a “blind spot” when it comes to noticing or accepting the early signs that a friend is a frenemy. If you notice that these behaviours are consistent in your relationships with others, you may want to reconsider your friendships.
They Have A Long List Of Ex-Friends
Friends are for life. If they have a long list of ex-friends, it may be one of the tell-tale signs of a toxic friend or frenemy. Though they may have tons of excuses and explanations for why and how these relationships ended, not having long-term friendships is sometimes a red flag. It can also sometimes be an indication that the person has a pattern of doing or saying things that cause drama. Many frenemies are even attracted or addicted to drama and seem to create havoc wherever they go.
They Are Double Faced
A frenemy tends to be double-faced. They may be smiling and sweet-talking in someone’s face this minute and sneer as soon as they turn their backs and started talking badly about that person. If they can do this to that person, so can it happen to you… Mean gossip is a form of social aggression and should always be seen as a warning sign of a bad friend. If they can so easily switch their charm off and on, it’s difficult to know if they’re being genuine with you.
They Like To Dig Up Dirt.
Frenemies feed upon negative info and usually thirst for more. Whenever we say we are feeling a little bit down, they would like to know why. Was it an argument with one’s spouse? Are we depressed? The next day, they will move further and ask something different. They love to revel in our misery while pretending to be interested in our well-being.
They Hate To See Other People successful
A frenemy has a lot of trouble being truly happy for the successes of others. They might complain about how others didn’t work hard enough but purely based on luck to earn their achievements or seem even bitter that they were overlooked. When a friend never seems to be truly happy for other people when things go well for them, it’s often a sign that their jealousy can turn them from friend to foe.
They’re Only Around When They Need Something
They will only do things that are beneficial to them. An obvious characteristic of a frenemy is that they only seem to be around when they need or want something from you. True friends will show up and support you during times when you needed most, no questions asked. A Fake or Fairweather friend will mainly show up when there is something in it or even disappear when you are in need. If you start to notice a pattern or begin feeling taken advantage of by a friend, it’s often a warning sign.
They Are Passive-Aggressive
Another red flag that you are dealing with a frenemy is passive-aggressive behaviour. Passive aggression is any behaviours or interactions that make it clear someone is upset without openly admitting it. A passive-aggressive person will often deny anything is wrong, pretend to be confused when you ask or feign innocence when confronted about their backhanded ways.
They Enjoy Your Misery
Another tell-tale sign of a frenemy is when a friend seems to find pleasure or humour when you find yourself in hard times. A true friend would be concerned and empathetic when they see you down, but a frenemy may seem unusually upbeat or elate in these moments. When someone seems to enjoy your misfortune, it’s a huge red flag that they may be a frenemy.
They Follow The Majority
A frenemy is often someone loyal to you as long as it doesn’t cost them anything, but they aren’t the kind of person who will stand up for you against the masses. If it ever comes down to choosing between protecting your friendship or their reputation within a group, they are more likely to go into self-preservation mode. A frenemy like this is usually someone who conforms and subscribes to groupthink because they value popularity over individual loyalties.
They Get Too Close For comfort
A frenemy is often someone who is after something you have. It could be money, fame, your job, or even your partner. When a friend starts eyeing something that belongs to you, it should raise your guard a little. Step back and observe them closely to see if they may be trying to take something that belongs to you.
Catching Bad Vibes From Them
While this sign of a frenemy can be a little tricky to explain, catching a bad vibe or sensing something is “off” about someone is something you shouldn’t ignore. These kinds of gut feelings often indicate that there is something about this friend that you don’t trust or like. When these gut feelings start to become frequent and nag at you, watch out for other red flags or signs that it’s more of a love-hate relationship.
Frenemies are fake friends who may put on a good act but don’t really have your best interests at heart. Frenemies are often people who harbour resentment, envy, or anger towards you but, for some reason, feel it’s in their best interest to pretend to be your friend. If you find one in your midst, the best way to deal with a frenemy is to distance yourself from them. Set better boundaries and end the friendship if necessary, especially if it’s doing you more harm than good.