In my practice, I often see patients who openly acknowledge the problem they are going through, but cannot decide to face it. Others try to face it but after a few days or weeks, they abandon their project of change and improvement.
Deep down, these behaviors are inevitably linked to some obstacles (or internal conflicts) that arise along the way. These obstacles must be identified in order to launch into full development.
In this article, I highlight six barriers that can be an impediment to self-improvement and some tips to combat them.
Comfort is one of the main barriers. It has to do with the fact of being locked in a routine, a place, or a situation that gives us some security. Security is not always real, many times it is a simple habit.
The best way to create a remarkable change and break with comfort is to change the most profound habits: language, places of departure, accommodation, residence, diet, friendships. These changes should not necessarily be complete, they can be calculated and gradual.
Laziness is also an obstacle, and although it is closely related to comfort, it is distinguished by being anchored in the temperament of the affected person.
Laziness is an inclination towards apathy that can lead a person to stay in their comfort zone. Laziness makes us look short-term and feel like we don’t have the strength to make the change. Therefore, in a process of personal change, it is very important to look more towards a broad future and see the benefits that a complete change will bring us.
Fear is one of the most important brakes in a self-improvement process. It is what a person experienced in the face of the unknown. Therefore, it is advisable to be aware of your fears in order to develop strategies with your psychologist that allow you to face and discard that fear.
Negative thinking is often closely linked to fear, low confidence, and a person’s self-esteem. It shows the way of thinking of those who pay more attention to the obstacles they have to overcome than to what they can gain from change.
A good way to change negative thinking is to change the language. Forcing yourself daily to look at how beautiful or positive a situation is and comment on it in words.
Personal disappointments feed the feeling of doom and strengthen negative thinking, consolidating a vicious cycle that inhibits and paralyzes. To counteract the effect of disappointments, it is important to create positive situations (going out with friends, setting short goals, looking at nearby examples of success, etc …) that will boost again.
Lack of motivation is perhaps the most present obstacle. It is closely linked to comfort. It is a form of apathy and abandonment. So the first questions to ask yourself are: Do I really want to change? Next, you have to imagine a life without the problem. Motivation is worked on daily and a psychologist can help in this process.
In any case, the message is clear: You can always overcome a situation and change. It all depends on how and with what force you work.