Everyone is bound to make mistakes and experience failures, no one is immune to it but, we must learn and grew to be wiser from it, that is the fact of life. Whether or not that a mistake is an act intentional or unintentional, it sometimes leaves us a guilty conscience. If you bottled up those feelings and carries them through life, it will undoubtedly shape and dictate your future behaviours and even your personality.
Learning how to overcome the guilt that has been dragging you down isn’t an easy task, but with the right help, it can be done. Here are some healthy recommendations that you can refer to:
Healthy And Unhealthy Guilt
It is always good to look at things from both sides. Guilt does not always have to be negative. It can also create positive outcomes as well, such as using it as a guide to correct something in your life that has gone astray or remedy something that was lacking or needed to be improved.
Nevertheless, there will always be some instances where unresolved guilt is deeply rooted in your consciousness and the denial to acknowledge your guilt might temporarily prevent it from jeopardising your life, masking your emotion doesn’t work as a permanent strategy. There will be a time when the tipping point is triggered, your thoughts will be fully consumed by this guilt by then, it will cause real harm and greater damages to your life.
Be With The Right People
Sometimes, the guilty conscience doesn’t come from you, you are not the problem. The main source came from a dominant or narcissistic person around you. These kinds of people are egoistic and they fed on others’ suffering for the sake of that little attention they yearned for. They tend to be very demanding and capable of tarnishing your self-esteem so, dealing with them you are more prone to experiencing a certain degree of unhealthy guilt.
Surround yourself with the right group of people, people with compassion and kindness; people that show empathy and gratitude to others. These are the kinds of friends you want to associate with. They will encourage you to be a better person and live you up to a greater height in life instead of causing you emotional distress and psychological conflicts.
Set An Action Plan And Makes Changes
It is important to know that continuing of feeling guilty will harm your overall well-being. Therefore, identifying the cause and correcting the problem should be done ASAP. One way to eradicate this guilt is by doing what you feel like you’re not doing.
For example, you might feel like you have neglected your family, love one or not as dedicated enough to pursue your dreams. The good thing is that at least you realised the problems and you can start to plan the thing you want to achieve. Once you have a list of all things you feel guilty about underperforming in, it will be easier to narrow everything down. Work to overcome and rectify the situation, then let the guilt go knowing that you have done the ultimate best that you can to set things right. Consequently, you will be less likely to feel guilty all the time.
“When we make assumptions about something, we don’t see them as they really are. We see them as what we think they are.”
People made assumptions, that is part of what made us human. They may be right sometimes and sometimes they can be way out. That goes the same for guilt. Example, if you sensed that something is amiss in a relationship, don’t just sit around and assume things will get back to the norm naturally.
Whether or not that you are guilty of not putting in enough effort, make sure you speak out your concern regards to the problems at the right time, instead of sulking in a corner and assuming the worst about yourself. If the problem lies with you, at least now you are aware of it and subsequently, you can improve your effort exactly where it is required instead of experiencing overbearing amounts of guilt.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. You may have set high expectations for yourself and feel guilty because you didn’t do what you should have done. The problem is, could you have set the standard of your expectations too high, so high that you fail to meet them or are you simply afraid of being judged. The more you are pondering over this guilt the more likely it will become a source of guilt for you.
Be realistic, strive to do your best in every endeavour and if you have done your ultimate best efforts, then it is time to stop feeling guilty.
We are all humans and humans make mistakes. No one is an exception and no one is perfect, stop punishing yourself for your past actions, “What’s done cannot be undone”. It isn’t okay to be blamed for bad things that you’ve done. Instead of beating yourself up, you need to accept the fact that you made mistakes. You can make a conscious decision to forgive yourself, accepting it when it is appropriate and letting it go when it’s unnecessary and this will help you let go of your guilt.